Emotional Distress: The Feeling Before 1L Year

I was sitting in my mock Civil Procedure class when the professor jokingly asked who all came to law school because of Elle Woods. I didn’t want to be labeled as that girl, so I abstained and kept my hand down. In reality Elle Woods is my homegirl! I wanted to go to law school because of her. Well, she wasn’t the only reason. But she made a big enough impression on my 7-year-old self for the idea to stick. Her name may or may not have come up in my personal statement, and in my office I proudly display a movie still of her dressed in her signature pink during the pivotal court scene where she reveals the stepdaughter as the murderer. I would have warned about a spoiler alert, but let’s be real — we have all seen the movie by now. And if not, you need to.

If you have wanted to be a lawyer for as long as I have, the dream keeps you going when the going gets tough. But what once felt like a dream in the distance was right in front of me. And it was terrifying. While purchasing my books, a ritual that would normally excite me, I felt my stomach lurch while looking at the girth of my Torts casebook. Books do not normally scare me. I love books. I love reading and learning. But this time it was a totally different feeling. In that moment, my excitement to pursue law was overshadowed by nerves. I thought to myself, “Damn you, Elle Woods. Damn you!”

The transition from college to law school (or graduate school in general) can be emotionally distressing. You leave from the high of senior year of college, where you have your people, know the area where you live, and have mostly settled into life as you know it. Then BAM! You find out someone at some law school’s admissions office found you boss enough to let you in, and now you are here. In a new place, where you may or may not know anybody, your people are now all scattered across the globe or finishing that one class they failed, and you are left feeling like the rug was ripped from beneath you.

The week before my classes started I took a moment to think about just how much my life was about to change. That brought with it a myriad of emotions. I was scared about the transition as a whole, nervous about creating a new social network, stressed about the impending workload, worried about performing academically, and already mentally preoccupied by exams that, at that point, should not have been on my radar.

Despite all of this, I found comfort in knowing that the other 179 people in my class felt exactly the same way.

I’m very Type A, and can quickly get carried away with the moment. Here is where I will stress the importance of a support system. I have people in my life that pull me down from my anxious cloud. They remind me that I can do this.

Your support system should comprise of people you find loyal, trustworthy, understanding and possibly most important of all, encouraging. Sometimes they might have never been to law school, but they have faith in you. Much like Paulette (the nail tech) was to Elle. Their faith and encouragement enables you to continue to have faith in yourself. They will be there for you to discuss your frustration pertaining to the lack of understanding you have of the Kinsman Duty, or when you want to complain why your Torts casebook — the one that blessed you with the confusion of the Kinsman Duty to begin with — is So. Damn. Heavy.

Have that person you can call or text at 1 a.m. freaking out because you realized what you got yourself into. Whether it’s your family or friends, it is always important to have someone you can talk to. If you are starting law school soon, and feel similarly, know that you are not alone.