3 Things I Learned From the Movie Dumplin’

I’m not crying, you’re crying! Dumplin is the feel good movie on Netflix you need to see ASAP. I won’t spoil the plot for you in this post because I want you to experience the movie in all its amazing glory for yourself. Dumplin’ is the most important kind of love story: the one between a woman and herself. Dumplin’ gave me all the feels. The movie centers around a small town plus-size girl from Texas, who enters a beauty pageant as a joke, only to realize that it was one of the best decisions of her life. As a plus-size woman, I identify so much with Willowdean (aka Dumplin’). Her character embodies precisely how I felt not only in high school but even sometimes today as I’m navigating the rough waters of adulthood. It’s easy to talk yourself into a dark place with negative self-talk. I can talk myself down and stay there, without any sort of positive buffer to bring myself back up. It is mentally exhausting. We all have high moments where you think: “Damn, I’m fine!” And others where you think: “Why do I love bread so much?!” This movie is one of the first I’ve seen that has done a superb job in highlighting the effects of the war we have with ourselves and our appearance; and how we let it dictate our happiness. There are several key takeaways from this movie.

1. Self Love is the most important, and hating yourself is not worth the effort.

It is so exhausting to not love yourself (or at least try to). It may seem easy at first. The self-deprecating remarks roll easily off your tongue, and negative self-talk easily springs up in your head. But this gets old and eventually wears a person down. After years of doing this to myself, as I got older I have slowly realized that I was ripping myself apart from the inside out. I’ve had the love of my family and friends. They could always tell me how beautiful I was, or compliment me on my other qualities until they were blue in the face. But their opinions and compliments meant squat unless I believed it myself first. Give yourself a chance and love you. It’s easier than you think!

2. Don’t Let Your Insecurities Get In The Way of Your Relationships.

Take note: people (especially your friends and loved ones) do not see you the way you perceive yourself. It is very easy to look in the mirror and pick out everything you dislike about yourself. You start grabbing the areas of your body that adhere to the laws of gravity more than you’d like. Pulling back the extra flesh on your chin and face to see what you’d look like if you didn’t have those wrinkles or that double chin. You put on a brand new outfit that looked great in the store, but now you glare at your side profile in the mirror, sucking your tummy in to get a glimpse of what your outfit would look like if you lost a little weight. We’ve all done it. I know I have. Majority of the time I tend to think out loud for those I fancy. I have this idea that if I see “flaws,” then they are not only thinking about them but see them too. I give a voice to what I perceive their thoughts are, in order to validate my own insecurities and self-doubts. Truth is, who am I to speak for the thoughts of a stranger or potential suitor? It’s very easy to let your insecurities get in the way of your relationships and become a roadblock to being open to new experiences. Your friends — or your crush for that matter!– don’t see the insecurities you foster and feed yourself on a daily basis.

3. Always be confident and believe in yourself.

Confidence is letting go of the things that hold you back. Confidence to me is doing the things that scare me. Whether it is trying a new kickboxing class or making the first move by talking to a guy I think is cute. It is forcing myself to get comfortable by being uncomfortable. I’ve learned over the years that growth and self-improvement cannot successfully cohabitate with complacency and comfort. Make no mistake, getting rid of comfort takes time, effort and patience. It is a process that requires its own dose of self-love to see it through. Me? I am still on that journey. But I’m closer to my destination than I was yesterday. Confidence is so, so important. Not only confidence in your beauty (collectively, inside and out), but in your abilities. You would be surprised at what you can accomplish when you believe in yourself. Don’t listen to that little voice in your head that reminds you of your limitations. My mom vehemently believes my older sister and I do not listen to her, but I will share with you something she always tells us: “When you walk into a room, walk into it like you own it.” So go forth, be proud of who you are, count your blessings amongst the lemons life hands you, and most importantly — always own it.

Oh, and go see Dumplin’!